“If I had a clone, I could list myself as a character reference.”

“If I give you an historical reference, am I dating myself? No, because the only way I could date myself is if I had a clone—and he was gay.”

“I’ll refer my clones to businesses and negotiate a better price for myself. And for myselves.”

“I asked myself a question, but I wouldn’t answer, because it was too personal. I wish I had a clone, so he could answer for me.”

“I couldn’t steal an idea. Not even if my clone came up with it. But I could steal your heart—even if my clone had it stored in a cryogenic freezer.”

“I need to protect myself from myself. And my clone.”

“At my last birthday party I had fun and really let myself go. Literally. I opened the cages where I keep my clones and I let myself go, all 333 versions of myself.”