“If I had a hand for a penis, would a hand job be appropriate in place of a handshake at business meetings?
”

“Would it make you more comfortable if I wore a condom while I shook your hand? I could wear it on my penis, or stretch it over my hand. I don’t know these things. I’m new to politics.”

“A brick, in the hands of a Mason, could be used to cover up and hide a secret handshake.
”

“Let my hand be a blanket for my penis.
”

“How big is my penis? Big enough to touch my hands.”

“I stand six feet back when meeting new people. And before they can step to me and extend their arm for a handshake, I drop down like I’m doing pushups, and extend my right hand. It’s friendly, but it lets them know I’m into boundaries. And unless they’re a cartographer, they have to be made aware of this fact.”

“If I had no penis, how would I pee? How would I make love? How would I think?”