“If I had the gift of flight, would you try to turn me into duck soup?”

“I eat bar soap raw, because if you try cooking it, it disappears. The soap turns into soup.”

“I would eat my soup in silence, but it’s alphabet soup. They’re all capital letters and they are shouting at me. I’m not anorexic or illiterate, so alphabet soup is like a nourishing novel. An anorexic should make a suicide note out of the letters.”

“Killing a bird is a murder most fowl. Trying to play doctor with a duck makes you a quack.”

“I am the broth of love. Make soup to me.”

“Love is a gift you receive by giving. The more love you give, the more love you get. Try it out today, and try it out with me. Go ahead—give me all your love.”

“The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me.”