“If I hung out with Van Gogh, I don’t know what we’d do. We’d just play it by ear, I guess.”

“It’s very hard to whisper in your own ear. Love is an art, but as an artist, I guess I’m no Van Gogh.”

“If I could go back in time, I'd love to whisper sweet nothings in Van Gogh's ear, but not while it was attached to his head.”

“Women love to talk. I'll bet Van Gogh had a woman. And I'll bet she talked his ear off.”

“We agreed to meet at 4. I meant AM and she meant PM, so we both just stood around thinking we’d been stood up.”

“I play the only instrument that takes in music rather than propelling it out: the ear trumpet. Don’t bother snickering at me—I am deaf to your mockery.
”

“I don’t know what I’ll do until I know what you’ll do. I’m proactive with my preemptive reactive strategy.
”