“If I were silent and invisible, I’d fear nobody. And if I were tasteless too, not even the cannibals or modern art critics would touch me.”

“If I were a professor, I’d bring my cat to class. I’d be silent until it meowed, and as soon as it did, I’d stand up and say, “Lecture’s over.”

“I’d like touch screens better if they were furry, like cats.”

“If my skull were made of glass, I wouldn’t want you to see my thoughts, so I’d fear going bald.”

“If my name were Isaac Newton, would I be a famous no name? I’d have worldwide and historical name recognition, yet I’d be anonymous.”

“In high school, I was convinced I had super powers. Well, just one really. I was sure I had the gift of invisibility. But nobody saw how super I was, because nobody saw me.”

“Orafoura once told me that if I were a car, I’d be a Ferrari. One that was scratched smashed, rusted, and stolen.”