“If it looks like you have pink eye, I’ll take a look at it. Drop your pants and bend over.”

“I looked him in the eyes and said, “I don’t trust you.” I’ll tell you, it’s like looking in a mirror when you make eye contact with your clone.”

“Even when we’re old, I’ll still look at you with the same eyes. (Who else’s eyes am I going to look at you with?) My love for you is Louis Braillesque.”

“If you ask me to describe what I look like, I’ll simply say, “I look like my clone.”

“If instead of saucers, UFOs looked more like breasts, I’ll bet there’d be a lot more people trying to take pictures of them.”

“Sometimes I’ll read a book and feel it was written just for me. Then I’ll flip the book over to look at the cover to see who wrote it, only to discover that it feels like it was written for me because it was written by me.”

“If you tell me I look familiar but you just can’t place it, I’ll tell you that with two ears, two eyes, two lips, and a nose, I just must have one of those faces.”