“If love had a pulse, like a heartbeat, would you find yourself oscillating like an isosceles triangle at the righteousness of a right-angled one?”

“There is nothing right about the triangle known as Bermuda. The only thing right is the knowledge you’ll be left behind if you try to rack up the Bermuda Triangle.”

“Love is like a free lunch. You won’t find any in this life, because I had yours for breakfast.”

“Would women find vampires even sexier and more romantic if instead of fangs they had rose thorns? It’s thoughts like these I think of when digging in my garden, looking for my one true love (If only I could remember where I buried her!).
”

“My clones will look like me, and therefore I’ll treat them like myself—starting with spending all their hard-earned money. You can’t love someone else if you can’t first love yourself.”

“Would you agree with the statement: Love is a hamburger? If yes, would you like to add cheese for only 99 cents?”

“When someone says, “One last thing,” it never is. Unless they die right after speaking. Make sure that they do. 
Check their pulse to be certain.”