“If my last name were Bedient, I’d want to Irishize it and have you call me O’Bedient. Of course, just because you call me, doesn’t mean I’ll come.”

“If coffee meant vagina, I’d ask you if you wanted cream in your coffee. But it doesn’t mean that, so I’ll just sit here and continue sipping my mug full of steaming vagina.”

“If my name were Entist, I’d probably be a dentist. If my name were Dennis, I’d probably be into tennis. And if my name were Funnalingus, well, I’ll let you figure out what I’d enjoy.”

“I heard you calling out to me, but I almost didn’t reply because you were using another guy’s name.”

“My name is Meow. At least that’s what my cat calls me. But you can call me after nine.”

“Clone One’s last name will be Martz. Clone Two I’ll call Martinez.”

“It’s a cliff, and I’ll jump, Don’t call it a bluff, or call my bluff. And don’t call me Cliff.”