“If my name were Isaac Newton, would I be a famous no name? I’d have worldwide and historical name recognition, yet I’d be anonymous.”
“If my name were Entist, I’d probably be a dentist. If my name were Dennis, I’d probably be into tennis. And if my name were Funnalingus, well, I’ll let you figure out what I’d enjoy.”
“If my name were Mememem, and I had just ran into someone who should have known my name but couldn’t recall it, I’d probably say, “I can’t believe you don’t remememember my name.”
“I’d make a good groom, if my last name were McBride.”
“If I were a lawyer, I’d only date women named Sue.”
“If my name were Mark Twain, I’d write under the pseudonym “Samuel Clemens.”