“If my name were Mark Twain, I’d write under the pseudonym “Samuel Clemens.”

“I’d never name my kid Mark, for fear he’d be a target—a mark.”

“If it’s not already written, I want to write a book called, “The Art of Raw.” But instead of using my real name, I’ll use the pseudonym, “Sun Tzushi.”

“If my name were Entist, I’d probably be a dentist. If my name were Dennis, I’d probably be into tennis. And if my name were Funnalingus, well, I’ll let you figure out what I’d enjoy.”

“If my name were Isaac Newton, would I be a famous no name? I’d have worldwide and historical name recognition, yet I’d be anonymous.”

“I’d make a good groom, if my last name were McBride.”

“If my name were Oscar, I’d want to be an actor and win my namesake award and take back my identity.”