“If my nipples lactated mustard, I’d wear a bra made out of two hamburger buns.”

“A bald man made an attempt on Constant's life with a hot dog. Stabbed at the window glass with it. Splayed the bun. Broke the frankfurter. Left a sickly sunburst of mustard and relish.”

“Both sexes have assholes, and both sexes have nipples. Yet only asshole is a genderless derogatory term. In the name of equality and linguistic diversity, I’m going to start using the word nipple as a synonym for asshole. Example: “Bra, you’re being an asshole.” “Nah, bra, you’re being the nipple.”

“If love were a variety of dog, I’d want mine hot. I’d take my love with ketchup and mustard.”

“It was like orderin a hamburger and getting only the buns"(After Brooke White of season 7 on american idol sang the song 'Hero'by Mariah Carey)”

“If someone invited you to a flash mob, would you wear a bra?”