“If my semen had chunks of crumbled brick in it, would you use yogurt to try to impregnate your fireplace? 
”

“A brick could be used to let that special someone in your life know how much you love them. Instead of tossing out a careless I love you, try tossing a brick at them instead.
”

“A brick could be used to satisfy your hunger—and satisfy my curiosity.
”

“My love for you would blot out the sun like a cloud made out of yogurt. I hope you brought a spoon.”

“A brick could be used as toilet paper—especially if you just shit a brick. You could shit and wipe your way to a wall of privacy.
”

“With your fertile eggs, and my semen, we’d make a delicious omelet.”

“I wish to report an attempted murder—on my clone. Someone tried to drink my semen out of beaker number two.”