“If my skin wasn’t flesh, but was tinfoil, I’d probably not only be left-handed, but I’d be a leftover. I guess the real question is, Would you rather make love to me or make dinner?”

“As much as I want to make love to you, I’d rather make love to your clone.”

“If love came in a cardboard tube, I’d probably send it priority mail. But I’d make you pay for shipping.”

“If love were seaweed, I’d ask myself one question: Are you the sort of person who’d swim through it, or would you rather eat it? As for me, pass me my Speedo, and a spoon.”

“Would you rather be affluent, or influential? I’d rather be fluent in the language of love.”

“Love is a boomerang dripped in honey, in that it emanates from me just as surely as it will return to me. Still, I think I’d much rather wash my hands and be done with it.”

“As much as I would love to know what you know, I’d much rather eat your brain with a spoon.”