“If religion is a crutch, then society is the broken foot.”

“Being vulgar to be funny is a crutch, and I prefer wheelchairs.”

“Faith: a device of the mind, fed by the soul, that functions like crutches to a man in a wheelchair.”

“Not only do I not believe in not believing in God, I’m also a big supporter of crutches, canes, walkers, and anything that helps support man through difficult times.
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“If I can just find my wife’s foot under the covers, I know everything will be OK. Then I can put that foot where I hid the rest of her body.”

“Is a one foot by one foot piece of cloth a blanket? What about if you rotate it all over your body throughout the night like it was Colorado and you were the continental US?”

“I lean on my friends for support. It’s better than leaning on a crutch, because your friends won’t accuse you of chugging down all the water out of the goldfish bowl. My friends know I have a drinking problem.”