“If Twinkies grew on trees, as nature intended, then I would like to irrigate your fertile valley. When we make love, bring your own knitting equipment.”

“The Nile is famous for overflowing like my love. How fertile is your valley?”

“The scent of your asshole smells like childhood memories. I mean it would, if I grew up in New Jersey.”

“With your fertile eggs, and my semen, we’d make a delicious omelet.”

“My love is like the shape your mouth makes while you whistle. Would you mind if I accompanied you on my harmonica?”

“She grew broccoli, and I grew dentures. We were perfect for each other. Our love disappeared into each other like a box of toothpicks.”

“Rain is a nudist’s shower, and I want a bathtub the size of a lake. Then we could make love like your parents did that one time, nine months before your birth.”