“If you ask me a multiple part question, and half my answers are yes and half are no, I may just average them together and give you a definitive and vague maybe.”

“If yes is the new no, no is the new maybe, and maybe is the new yes, then my answer is definitely maybe.”

“I’m half naked. The question is not, Am I getting dressed or undressed? the question is, Am I a half-noble savage, or a half-ignoble savage?”

“People always see me writing and ask me if they can read my writing. The answer is yes, after I publish it and they pay for it.”

“Which half do you want me to cut in half, Mr. Halfofhalf?
The name’s Onequarter. Johnny Onequarter. And don’t you forget it.”

“If I had a half, I’d split it in half and share it with you. That’s love. Then I’d go find the other half and enjoy the whole thing by myself.”

“I asked myself a question, but I wouldn’t answer, because it was too personal. I wish I had a clone, so he could answer for me.”