“If you listen to the rain long enough, you’ll eventually soak up the wisdom.”

“We shouldn’t eat raw food. In fact, we probably shouldn’t even be listening to the radio. Too much nudity soaking in through our ears.”

“As long as you are wearing a hat made out of shingles, you’ll always have a roof over your head.”

“Wisdom equals knowledge plus courage. You have to not only know what to do and when to do it, but you have to also be brave enough to follow through.”

“My thoughts absorb sound like sponges soak up water. Please don’t whistle while I masturbate.”

“I surround myself with salt, so it soaks up the humidity from my steamy solo love making sessions.”

“There is nothing right about the triangle known as Bermuda. The only thing right is the knowledge you’ll be left behind if you try to rack up the Bermuda Triangle.”