“If you strip away my flowery language, you’ll figure out I’m really talking about bees.”

“There’s always something to talk about, even if you talk about how there is nothing to talk about. Of course, I’m talking about love.”

“People used to tell me that when I smile I really warm up the room. Well, the moment someone told me about global warming I frowned, and in that exact moment it started to snow. So, if you see me walking around with a furrow on my brow, you’ll know what I’m doing: I’m helping to save Mother Earth.”

“I’m wearing my political mustache today. If you want to see it, you’ll find it on the pubic region of a lobbyist.”

“Labels are necessary, for dating purposes. I’m not talking about gay versus straight. I’m talking about milk versus its expiration.”

“It’s disturbing to me that criminals are freely roaming the streets of our nation’s capital. I’m not talking about escaped prison inmates—I’m talking about politicians.”

“I’m very close to my dad. He’s about six inches away right now and snoring in my ears.”