“If you take away my office, how will I get no work done?”

“You can share in my joy, but I don’t want to share my misery. No, I want to give away my misery. Go ahead, take it all.”

“A brick could be used as a way to motivate yourself to succeed. I’m proof that it works. It’s how I managed to get second to last in my last race. 
”

“The question is not how much work are you willing to put in, but what are you willing to take out? Success is sacrifice.”

“Vacation, I go there in my mind. Especially when I’m at work, getting paid for it.”

“My new employer made me get a drug test, so I ripped off my shirt, flexed my muscles, and said, “You suspect me of taking steroids, don’t you?”

“Being in the womb was like taking a nine-month bath. I wanted to take a shower, but no matter how hard I kicked, or how loud I screamed, my mom wouldn’t listen.”