“If you try a joke a second time and nobody laughs, don’t tell a different joke—tell different people.”

“If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?”

“It is almost a joke, but a joke that nobody tells.”

“Some of us lived different lives, during a different time, in a different universe. We did it on this planet, though. You may have been watching Miami Vice or something else on TV at the time, so you didn't notice what was happening. You would not recognize us among you. We look, walk and talk the same and we can tell funny jokes. But we are different and will never be the same again.”

“People think computers are different from people because they don't have minds, even though, in the Turing test, computers can have conversations with people about the weather and wine and what Italy is like, and they can even tell jokes.”

“She never laughs or smiles or tells a joke. She reminds me of a robot caked in meat.”