“If you’re going to do something dumb, do it in a smart way. This is my advice for falling in love.”

“My advice is to just ignore the problem until you’re dead. This could be the quickest solution of your life.”

“One of your siblings has got to be the dumbest. And if you’re an only child—you’re the dumb one.”

“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?”

“My advice is to write in the nude. Unless you do your writing in a public restroom, and in that case, I’d recommend wearing flip flops.”

“A blanket could be used like a Love Fleece. I imagine you’re shaking your head. Do you disagree? Fine, then when you’re shivering, I won’t ask if it’s because you’re cold—or because you’re lonely.”

“My advice is don’t take advice from anybody. This is good advice, and as such, it’s bad advice.”