“If you’re looking for someone to stand in the unemployment line, I’m the man for the job. And if you’re looking for a man who will make love to you all night long, then I’m the man for the job. I will help you find that man.”

“I’m a man of leisure. That’s because I have an English degree and can’t get a job.
”

“A brick could be used to help you keep your job. Just hold it down, man.
”

“-I’m looking for a man—
-There are several suspects in Topeka, Ks. that match that description. Why don’t you try there first?”

“If someone is playing on my fear, the natural tendency for a person is to throw all their energy and focus into protecting that vulnerability. But I say if you’re playing on my fear to the left, I’m going to look to the right and try to find out what you’re taking or attacking.
”

“I’m not gentlemanly. When I’m gentle, I’m not manly, and when I’m manly, I’m not gentle.”

“I’m a one-man show. I need to start a band. You wanna join? Too bad! What about one-man band don’t you understand?”