“I’ll leave my disconnected cell phone as collateral, and I’ll call you on it when I’m able to pay.”

“I’m going on vacation, and I’m leaving my clone in charge. I’ll be gone, but I’ll be here.”

“Tampons. I’m constantly worrying about my stash and if I’ll be able to find more.”

“I remember my first cell phone number still. I may call it and ask to speak to myself from eight years ago. If they say I have the wrong number I’ll tell them, No, right number, wrong time.”

“It’s the same with cell phones. I never answer them up to my ear. I always put it on speakerphone and hold it six to eight inches away from my brain. Here’s an example of a phone call I recently received from an unknown number:-Hello?-Hi, Is Shehe there? -Yes. But S/he can’t talk right now, as it is very confused. But I’ll tell him or her that you called.”

“I don’t know what the explosion did, but it damaged something deep and irreparable. Never mind. If I get home, I’ll be so stinking rich, I’ll be able to pay someone to do my hearing.”