“I’ll trade you one dollar for five dollars. What, is my money no good here?”

“Can you break my five-dollar bill into five singles? Women love guys with lots of money.”

“If given the choice, I’d take five ones over a five-dollar bill, because women prefer men with lots of money.”

“On savings: A dollar here, a dollar there. Over time, it adds up to two dollars.
”

“There’s fool’s gold—pyrite—and then there’s fool’s gold—gold owned by idiots willing to trade it for worthless dollars.
”

“I want to price my next book and adjust it for the coming hyperinflation. So instead of the normal one dollar price, I’ll charge $1,000,000.00. If I sell one copy now I’ll be a happy man, and if I sell a million copies after hyperinflation hits in a few years then I’ll be equally as happy.”

“I’ll flick a penny to the dirt, and if I see one on the ground I won’t pick it up. So why is .99 cents so much sexier than a dollar?”