“I’ll watch the Final Four when there are three teams playing at once for two titles and one large bag of regrets. That bag is mostly full of air, like a bag of potato chips, only harder to chew.”

“I used a bag of potato chips as a sock once. Roll Tide!”

“I bought a bag of chips at the store, and the cashier asked if I wanted a bag. I said, No thanks. It already comes with a bag.”

“An empty bag of chips would make a great sleeping bag, if it were larger. Or if I were smaller, thinner, tastier, and with 33% less fat per serving.”

“I have three sets of humor. One I keep in a bag of salt, because it’s the dry one.
”

“The phrase “The cat’s out of the bag” tells that a secret’s been exposed to the world. But who put the secret, or cat, in the bag in the first place? I thought only kidnap victims were supposed to be kept in bags.
”

“I sell Ziploc bags. They’re not empty—they’re full of hope.”