“I’m a 33rd degree mason, which is one degree above freezing.”

“A man who claims to be 32 degrees is one freezing freemason. That man must make love with all the warmth of a shadowy secret.”

“I’m a man of leisure. That’s because I have an English degree and can’t get a job.
”

“I’m in the Just Under A Decade club. That’s how long it took me to get a four-year degree.”

“Most people take four years to get a degree. Not me. I’m twice as ambitious. It took me nearly eight years to graduate.”

“The final few weeks in a town before you move always feel like vacation, like you’re observing and taking it all in, seeing with fresh eyes. I’m moving back to Orafouraville. A college degree is so worthless that it is invaluable. When everybody has one, they are cheap—except if you don’t have one, and then they are priceless.”

“I have an 8th grade education. Of course, I also have a bachelor’s degree.”