“I’m a bean counter. Oh, I’m not an accountant, but I did spill pinto beans on the counter.”

“I unwind with wine—or a few counter clockwise turns.”

“I want my relationship with my girlfriend to be built on trust, not toothpicks, rubber bands, and lentil beans.”

“Not only did I not get it done, but I’m over budget too. I’m like a politician.”

“I’m on the road, Butte is 58 miles away, and I’m driving 85 mph. So I should be there in an hour. Oh, if only love were so easy to calculate.”

“Not only did I not join, but now I can’t quit. I’m a nonmember for life.”

“I am a juxtaposition. And at the same time, I’m not. I’m always like this because I’m not always like this because I’m always in love.”