“I’m a designer. I’m trying to design a half a person, but I’m looking for a business partner, a female who’ll contribute the other 50% to the design and make it not only complete, but humane and personable.”

“I want to be the world’s safest fashion designer. And I always wear my seatbelt, especially when I’m in the car.”

“I want to find myself as a person, and I’ve enlisted the help of my clone to aid me in this. It’s like finding Waldo, except I’m only half wearing the red and white sweater, because I’m only half-finished knitting it.”

“I’m a neat person (interesting), but I’m not a neat person (organized).”

“There’s nothing nine-tenths about me as a person. I’m a 100% kind of guy, at least half the time.
”

“I’m a person, you’re a person, and we should make love. That is, if you’re a person who’s also roughly ½ of the population known as women.”

“I’m surprised there isn’t a jet airplane designed in the shape of a brick. Some people (aeronautical engineers) might say that’s because bricks aren’t aerodynamic. Yeah, right. I’d like to see someone make that claim as they watch a brick flying towards their face at a high velocity. 
”