“I’m a four-time Pulitzer Prize winning admirer. I’m also a 16-time Olympic medalist observer (I saw Michael Phelps on TV).”

“Most of the time, I feel like Phelps. At least when I’m not winning Olympic gold medals, which is an all the time thing for me.”

“If I ever meet Michael Phelps, I’m going to tell him that I am that Michael Phelps of random thoughts. Then I’ll challenge him to a game of pool.”

“I managed to beat Michael Phelps’ 400 meter IM time. And not only did I beat his time, but I did it in exactly 200 meters.”

“People think I’m all gloom and doom all the time. I’m not. I also have bad days where I’m pessimistic.”

“I’d kiss you, too, if I was closer.”(claire)“I wouldn’t,” Michael said. “I don’t love you that way.”“That’s not what you said last time.”(shane)“Ass.”(michael)_________________________“No,” Shane said. “I’m not leaving you two here alone. We stick together.”“I’m still not kissing you,” Michael said.“Tease.”