“I’m a man who wears many hats. Some of them are furry.”

“I have so many pet peeves that I can’t even pet them all. And damn I wish they were furry.”

“My chameleon fingertips feel sticky, furry, rough, or any number of things, depending on what I’m touching at the time.”

“Courage comes in many forms. One of them is the ability to run at high speeds while wearing adult diapers.”

“I’m running late. But that’s OK, because I’m wearing Nikes.”

“As long as you are wearing a hat made out of shingles, you’ll always have a roof over your head.”

“If you’re looking for someone to stand in the unemployment line, I’m the man for the job. And if you’re looking for a man who will make love to you all night long, then I’m the man for the job. I will help you find that man.”