“I’m a nail biter. Not when I’m nervous, but when I misplace my hammer.”

“When I fake smile the corners of my mouth twitch from tiredness, then nervousness, as I wonder if anybody can see my mouth quivering and figure out that I’m faking my friendliness.”

“When I’m asleep I’m a politician, and when I’m awake I’m a criminal. Throughout the day and night, my mentality never changes.”

“I’m not gentlemanly. When I’m gentle, I’m not manly, and when I’m manly, I’m not gentle.”

“I’m not nervous, but I have butterflies in my stomach. Or at least I will, because I just swallowed a bunch of caterpillars.”

“Vacation, I go there in my mind. Especially when I’m at work, getting paid for it.”

“Turn the fan off when I’m talking. It not only makes my words colder, but it distorts and dilutes what I’m saying.”