“I’m a person, you’re a person, and we should make love. That is, if you’re a person who’s also roughly ½ of the population known as women.”

“If someone is playing on my fear, the natural tendency for a person is to throw all their energy and focus into protecting that vulnerability. But I say if you’re playing on my fear to the left, I’m going to look to the right and try to find out what you’re taking or attacking.
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“I’m a designer. I’m trying to design a half a person, but I’m looking for a business partner, a female who’ll contribute the other 50% to the design and make it not only complete, but humane and personable.”

“I’m a neat person (interesting), but I’m not a neat person (organized).”

“I’m always the last in love by exactly one person.”

“I make love like a half an hour minus 27 minutes. If you’re as bad in bed as I am in math, that’s roughly four minutes. And I do mean rough.”

“If you’re looking for someone to stand in the unemployment line, I’m the man for the job. And if you’re looking for a man who will make love to you all night long, then I’m the man for the job. I will help you find that man.”