“I’m a student of life. My own. So I’m also my own teacher.”

“I’m not selfish. I’d gladly give someone’s life, a more valuable life than my own, while I humbly preserve and keep my own meager life for myself.”

“I am who I pretend to be, and right now I’m pretending to be my own clone.”

“I am my own clone. I’m not who I was yesterday, but then again I am.”

“My beard has started growing a beard of its own, and I’m stuck having to take it for a walk.”

“My shadow’s so substantial that it has its own shadow. It isn’t as tall, but that’s OK, because sometimes it feels like I’m being followed by a black midget.”

“Of all the things I own, I’m most sentimental about my shoes, because they’ve traveled with me every step of my journey.”