“I’m a typical atypical kind of guy.”

“Are you an Is there? or a There isn’t! kind of person? I’m more of an Is there isn’t? kind of guy.”

“There’s nothing nine-tenths about me as a person. I’m a 100% kind of guy, at least half the time.
”

“I'm the kind of guy who puts other people first. Particularly if there’s danger up ahead. Now I’m not saying I’m any more cowardly than the next man, unless that next man is any other man besides my clone.”

“I eat overcast skies for breakfast, because sunlight isn’t filling enough. As a lover, I’m a bring-my-own-umbrella kind of guy, because a soup bowl doesn’t offer enough space or protection.”

“I’m the kind of guy who turns my fan on in winter, only to then go and add another blanket on top of my bed. I practice inefficiency even while I sleep, so I’ll be prepared to one day be a politician.”

“I’m not a big car guy. I like compact cars.”