“I’m famous for my Shepherd’s Pie. Here’s my recipe: lamb, potatoes, cheese, peas, paprika, and a wool-covered apron for the chef/shepherd/wolf-like politician to wear while serving the sheeple up.
”

“My mashed potatoes come with a masturbation sound you pour on top, like gravy. I got the recipe from Pee Wee Herman.”

“Though my stomach is only the size of a pea, I could eat two politicians’ brains.”

“I’m a lion in my environment. But take me out of my cage, and I’m a lamb.”

“Some people say I look like my mom, while others say I look more like my dad. I guess it all depends on what I’m wearing.”

“I’ll write the time on my wrist, and I’ll cover it up by wearing a watch.”

“I serve the people. Am I a politician? No, I’m just a greedy and corrupt waiter.”