“I’m glad scrambled eggs don’t have lips, because when I’m grinning over a hearty breakfast, it would really freak me out to see my breakfast grinning back. I’ve eaten a man for less than that.”

“The radio signal was scrambled, and so were my eggs. I got tired of eating commercial breaks for breakfast.”

“She had lips like two wavy slices of crisp bacon, and her kisses felt like gravy on my scrambled eggs tongue. We made love like we made breakfast—and then we made brunch like rabbits.”

“Pigs might make great pets, but they make better breakfast. I’ll take one big snuggle, with a side of scrambled eggs.”

“Like eggs, I’m scrambling to get ahead in this economic depression.”

“I eat overcast skies for breakfast, because sunlight isn’t filling enough. As a lover, I’m a bring-my-own-umbrella kind of guy, because a soup bowl doesn’t offer enough space or protection.”

“My mouth is often wounded by my sharp words, so sometimes when I’m out in public, I’ll wear a large Band Aid over my lips.”