“I’m going outside to get a breath of fresh air. Anybody got a cigarette I can have?”

“So I got a new job, and I start tomorrow. I’m excited to have a job, and bummed out I’m going to be working.”

“The closer I get, the faster I have to go. Otherwise, I might be late to the very place where I’m not even expected. Adding to my tardiness is the fact that I don’t even know where I’m going. And I can’t get from here to there when I don’t even know where I am, let alone where I’m going. All I know is I’m going fast, but not fast enough.”

“I’m building a hot air balloon out of my love for you. I’m starting with the hot air, and then I’m going to surround that with saran wrap, because after all, I’m only using leftovers.”

“This world is nothing more than fresh white underwear, and I’m going to leave my mark on it.”

“His thin accusation hung thick in the air like fog smoking a cigarette.”

“I have a cigarette for a penis. Except when I get sexually aroused it turns into a cigar. Would you care to hold my lighter?”