“I’m halfway to being a father. Not 4.5 months out of 9, but ½ of a mating ritual.”

“In my view, a Cyclops is halfway to being blind. Love sees all. When someone insults me and I go silent, I’m in Helen Keller mode. Listen!”

“I saw a hermaphrodite changing, so out of respect, I turned halfway around.”

“I’m thinking of changing my name to “Son of Manana.” Of course it isn’t accurate, because I’m the father of yesterday.”

“A bird once sent out its mating call and in return got the siren of an ambulance.”

“Today is 8-9-10. August, 9, 2010. So hooray for Chronologically Ascending Day!”

“I’m a tiger made out of a paper towel, and I’m going to wipe you out.”