“I’m hungry for success. And lasagna.”

“I make love like I make lasagna. Makes me hungry just thinking about it.”

“I’m so hungry I could eat some silverware.”

“I’m hungry but I won’t order 18 tubs of ketchup and a spoon. No, I’ll order it because I’m thirsty, and I’ll ask for a straw.”

“I make love like I make lasagna: with extra meat.”

“I’m sexually attracted to statues made out of decomposing food. Is it normal to be hungry during intercourse?”

“I’m so lonely, I just need somebody to call me—even if it’s a wrong number. I’m also hungry, so maybe that caller could order me a pizza after they hang up on me.”