“I’m in like Flynn, as the saying goes. But why is it going? It just got here.”

“You’re wearing that?”… “This is the kind of shirt that says, ‘You’re never getting in here.’”“Well, why would he?” I demanded.…”I think it’s more like a shirt that says, ‘I’m going to have to end this date early so I can go prepare by Power Point presentation.”

“I’ve learnt that you’ve got to be really non-apologetic... You’ve got to say, ‘Hi, I’m here, can I have a cup of tea? And one of those biscuits?’ If you say that, it’s fine. If you go in and say, ‘Excuse me, I’m a transvestite, I’ll be in the corner, I won’t be a problem, I’ll face away,’ everyone will go, ‘Oh-oh, problem case in the corner.’ So don’t apologise.”

“No' is a magical word," he told her. "Here's how it goes. You say, 'Simon, I have an insane, suicidal plan. Would you like to help me carry it out?' And I say, "Why, no.”

“I just realized my reality, and I’d like to say No Thanks. I’m going back to sleep.”

“She just got out of the hospital. Why don't you go gossip behind her back, like decent people?”