“I’m in the Just Under A Decade club. That’s how long it took me to get a four-year degree.”

“Most people take four years to get a degree. Not me. I’m twice as ambitious. It took me nearly eight years to graduate.”

“I’m a man of leisure. That’s because I have an English degree and can’t get a job.
”

“I’m 30-years-old, and I still can’t get out from under my father’s shadow. He’s really tall, so maybe I’ll just ask him to move over a few feet.”

“One to five, I’m not sure how most people would rate me. But I’m certainly top four to anyone who doesn’t have a thumb.”

“There are 365 days in a year, and 360 degrees in a circle. Coincidence? I think not. Really, I didn’t think, and that’s why this is so dumb.”

“I’d drive a thousand miles just to learn how to conserve gas and help save the environment. But that’s just who I am. I’m a thoughtful guy.
”