“I’m no Arnold Schwarzenegger, but I have the definition of a dictionary. If you admire my calves now, just wait a few years. By that time, they’ll be fully grown and will make excellent hamburgers.”

“I would visit Hawaii, but I’m not that strong of a swimmer. My strength is all in my heart, and I love like Arnold Schwarzenegger’s body looks.”

“I’m a poor worker. The quality of work I do is excellent, but I make no money.”

“I work for a mom and pop business. They’re my mom and pop, and by work I mean they give me an allowance. But that’ll end soon. By age 30, in just a few months, they said it’d be time for me to earn a living. I guess that means they’ll want me to start mowing the lawn.
”

“I’m 30-years-old, and I still can’t get out from under my father’s shadow. He’s really tall, so maybe I’ll just ask him to move over a few feet.”

“I’m a four-time Pulitzer Prize winning admirer. I’m also a 16-time Olympic medalist observer (I saw Michael Phelps on TV).”

“After a few years of not talking, I tried reaching out to my father, but by that time he was already a few inches beyond my outstretched fingers.”