“I’m not a big car guy. I like compact cars.”

“I want a white car that turns red when I’m embarrassed.”

“My car rides smooth like I’m driving a cloud. If I park it at your house, I may get rainwater on your living room carpet.”

“My friend isn’t big into cars. He’s only 4’4”.”

“A brick could be used like a used car salesman uses people. I know, because I used to sell cars. Well, technically I got fired precisely because I didn’t sell any cars.
”

“I want to be the world’s safest fashion designer. And I always wear my seatbelt, especially when I’m in the car.”

“I like cup holders—in cars, as well as in jockstraps.”