“I'm not interested in you as a person. I am, however, interested in you as a banana.”

“The quickest way to become an interesting person is to show interest in others.”

“A brick could be used to gauge the level of reciprocated sexual interest of the person or object of your desire. A brick works best, however, when the focus of your lust is the brick itself. 
”

“I’m a neat person (interesting), but I’m not a neat person (organized).”

“Before job interviews, I think: What color tie best represents me as a person this company would be interested in?”

“It’s a conflict of interest, because I’m not interested.”

“I heard everything you said, listened to half, and agreed with a quarter. And 12.5% isn’t bad—if you’re collecting that in interest on money you lent out.”