“I’m not stuck up. I’m constipated.
”

“I’m so constipated that every time I go to shit, the only thing that comes out is political rhetoric.”

“My beard has started growing a beard of its own, and I’m stuck having to take it for a walk.”

“4 am—if I’m ever up that early, it’s because I’m up that late.”

“Deep down, I’m an introvert. However, high up, I’m an extrovert.”

“I’m going to go up on my way down. I’m just a sideways sort of person.”

“I’m rich in poverty. I got no money coming out of my ass. I’m up to my neck in broke.”