“I’m not stuck up. I’m constipated.
”

“I’m so constipated that every time I go to shit, the only thing that comes out is political rhetoric.”

“Now, before you begin to worry, the section of the gaol that I’m standing in is completely secure. No problems here. I’m not in any danger whatsoever.”“And the section I’m standing in?”“Well,” he said, “the important thing to remember is that I’m perfectly safe.”Valkyrie sighed. “I’m stuck in here with the bad guys, aren’t I?”“Or you could be glass-half-full about it and say that they are stuck in there with you. Which might make you feel better.”

“Are you okay?”“Well, I’d prefer to be in my own bedroom at home, dreaming of ponies and rainbows, but since I’m stuck here, I guess I’m as good as I can be.”

“My beard has started growing a beard of its own, and I’m stuck having to take it for a walk.”

“4 am—if I’m ever up that early, it’s because I’m up that late.”