“I’m older now than my dad was when he was my age. Wait, that’s not right. That’s not my dad at all, that’s just some stranger hanging around in my memory.
”

“My mom and dad died, but in their place I got a house of fog that’s easy to hide my feelings in. (No smoking, please.)
”

“I’m very close to my dad. He’s about six inches away right now and snoring in my ears.”

“I’m a handyman. I work with my hand. I masturbate for a living. That’s right, I’m in politics.”

“My day starts like a regular guy’s. I wake up, drink raw eggs, run around Philadelphia, and punch raw slabs of meat. Wait, that’s not my story—that’s Rocky’s. I get us confused all the time.”

“Making money for my clones, now that’s what I call self-enrichment. Having all my clones working for me, working for free, and enriching me, now that’s what I call social progress. Ah, but that’s life, no?”

“I carry all of my childhood memories in my mind. But maybe that’s not the best place for them. Well, you’ve got some extra space in your closet. Do you think I could store them there?”