“I’m rich in poverty. I got no money coming out of my ass. I’m up to my neck in broke.”

“I’m not rich in paper money, I’m rich in packets of sugar. Actually, I’m richer, because at least the packets of sugar have some real value.”

“I’m a lion in my environment. But take me out of my cage, and I’m a lamb.”

“Good things come to those who ate. I’m going to wait to eat. I just got done swallowing my pride, and I’ll be full for the foreseeable future.”

“Right now I’m naked, like how my pizza comes out of the oven. I like my toppings like I like my women: topless. I love me some pepperoni.”

“So I got a new job, and I start tomorrow. I’m excited to have a job, and bummed out I’m going to be working.”

“I’m creative, I make up almost everything. But with all my creativity, I couldn’t make up with my wife.”