“I’m running late. But that’s OK, because I’m wearing Nikes.”
“My coffee cup didn’t come with a sleeve, but that’s OK, because I’m wearing a tank top.”
“My shadow’s so substantial that it has its own shadow. It isn’t as tall, but that’s OK, because sometimes it feels like I’m being followed by a black midget.”
“I think it’s OK to rape as many people as possible, and that’s precisely why I’m going into politics.”
“4 am—if I’m ever up that early, it’s because I’m up that late.”
“I’m not even embarrassed to hug my parents in public. Except when Nathan wears a sweatband when he goes running. Because really!”