“I’m standing in misunderstanding. I must have just stepped in it.”

“I stand six feet back when meeting new people. And before they can step to me and extend their arm for a handshake, I drop down like I’m doing pushups, and extend my right hand. It’s friendly, but it lets them know I’m into boundaries. And unless they’re a cartographer, they have to be made aware of this fact.”

“I’m not nervous, but I have butterflies in my stomach. Or at least I will, because I just swallowed a bunch of caterpillars.”

“I’m not a ref, but I assigned her the penalty of clipping, and I told her to drop the scissors and step away from the newspaper ads.”

“I’m at the top of my game. And that game is Monopoly. I’m standing on the board right now.”

“Sometimes I feel I’m just doing a poor impression of a person. Maybe I feel this way because I have no money.”

“I’m older today than yesterday, and therefore I must be more mature.”