“I’m unemployed, so I’m seeking a handjob.”

“If you’re looking for someone to stand in the unemployment line, I’m the man for the job. And if you’re looking for a man who will make love to you all night long, then I’m the man for the job. I will help you find that man.”

“Just because I’m on the lookout for an ass kicking doesn’t mean I’m actively seeking one out. It’s called covering all your bases.”

“I’m not aspiring to be someone else – If I’m me for the rest of my life then so be it”

“I don’t know why she tries so hard to resist me. I’m not such a bad guy. I’m fit and healthy, a successful business owner, I’m not in debt, and I’m pretty damn good-looking. Or so I hear anyway.”

“So, tomorrow, I’m leaving. And I’m not going to let that happen again with anyone else. I’m going to do what I want to do. I’m going to be who I really am. And I’m going to figure out what that is.”